I Hope I Don’t Forget

Sansaku:  I Hope I Don’t Forget

7/29/21

Squirrel being squirrel, human being human, I trapped and took him on trip to the far side of town.   He wasn’t very thankful when I let him go.  Good reason.

Where there’s one, there’s two and that makes six.  You can see where this is heading.  I cleaned and set the trap a second time.  Shit.  I left it out all night.  Just what I don’t need, another skunk.  I’ve done that before; it’s not fun.  Shit, shit

I’m mad at myself and know exactly how it happened.  All the windows and doors to the backyard are closed and covered with plastic.  Today they spray the green.  The unlikely name of At Ease Soldier.

It’s all my fault and anyway blame doesn’t do anyone any good.  Bad enough I move them away from their home and family, now the trauma of spending a night in the trap.  Shit, shit, shit.

I typically dwell in a fool’s paradise, pretending all’s well with the world.  Not today.  My peace of mind is shattered.  Staying inside and not going down to discover who might or might not be trapped might be worse.

Cause for concern, I can see the trap’s been sprung and cautiously come close.  Hallelujah hot damn.  No skunk, no baby raccoon.  No traumatized squirrel.  Peace of mind is once again mine.

I heard another rodent story last night.  There’s a menace of marmots in the mountains.  They get into engines and chomp on brake lines and hoses.  My friend couldn’t get one leave, not even at the car wash.  He finally took the offender home and drugged it.  I’m still laughing.

I’m happy now it’s over.  But it’s not over.  Squirrel being squirrel and human being human, I’ll set the trap today and hope I don’t forget.

A Gift of Ashes

Sansaku:  A Gift of Ashes

7/27/21

Circles are more than geometric shapes and stories round out.  I’ve been given a gift of ashes.  My friend is dead.  A stone thrown into a pond is gone, but the ripples remain. 

I woke with a dream.  A man wearing a bolo, just like my dad’s.  His had a name.  I’d know it anywhere.  I wanted to ask the man in my dream.  “What do you know about Knifewing?”  That’s the key.

Larry like Red Bird and Wendell, a surrogate father.  I’m friends with his son.  Randy asked if I wanted to go.  Say no too many times and you won’t be asked.  Thank Fate I changed my mind.

We tend to like people who agree with us and punish those who don’t.  And when times are tense, as they often are, we’re most comfortable with the people like us and critical of those who are not.

Larry had the eye.  You’d never guess we were close.  A business law professor with a background in banking, I looked like the person I am.  A slipper wearing counselor with long hair.  He wore a suit.

We were friends from the get-go, for more than thirty years.  That never faltered.  And while I’ve been accused of coming on strong and leaving without a word, he let me come back, time and again.

I’m a bit of a cognitive outlaw.  I take what I want and don’t always cite.  Larry wrote peer-reviewed articles.  An anti-bully bully, I never saw him walk from a fight.  I’m an underground type.

I have a dozen favorite stories.  Spin the wheel.  He heard what a dean said about him.  It wasn’t very nice.  Larry went straight to his office.  “No one takes a bit out of my ass for free.  It’s mostly bone and gristle.  And you should know, I have long sharp teeth.”  Larry bites back.      

How I Feel

Sansaku:  How I Feel

7/26/21

The problem’s not the problem, it’s the path.  A simple rule of thumb. 

Wouldn’t you know, a squirrel is in the garage.  A different kind of problem.  How to get him out?  At the moment, the door’s wide open and I’m hoping he leaves on his own.  Once before, a bird.

I go through journals like golfers hitting buckets of balls on a range.  It’s the process and practice, not score.  Style and swing.  It doesn’t take long to judge me.  Wild, sloppy, and long.  Self-taught.

I’m resistant to change.  It’s not something I’m trying to change.

Our house about to be painted.  Saul is the master and Jesus his disciple.  If I’m going to  suffer an invasion, I might as well have fun.  He’s a lovely man and his Mexican crew are much to my liking.  He asks about my Spanish.  I told him I lived in Oaxaca.  Conversation is easy.

Chyako practices, “Soy Japonesa.”  That she is.

I have no doubt he’ll do a good job.  I’d put money on the line.  In fact, we have.  I know I’ll be pleased with the change.  At the moment, Jesus is scraping and Saul’s gone to the store for supplies.

My life looks slow and small, but there’s so much going on.  Look into a drop of pond water, get close to the earth.  A mystical conversation.  A friend of mine said, “When you step-off the linear accelerator, everything changes.”  The kind of change I like.

I have plans, to hang around.

When de Nerval was told he had no religion, he argued and said, “That’s ridiculous.  I have at least sixteen.”  That’s how I feel when I’m told, “You don’t do anything.”