Sansaku: Discipline
4/19/24
When I was leading the T-Group, we did video reviews every Thursday. By far and away the hardest and most valuable part of the training program. One intern told the group: “I was in a play where we stood naked on stage. I didn’t feel as exposed as I do right now.”
That’s the secret to the sauce. Outrageous vulnerability. Video review was a rite of initiation and left some with scars. One of my favorites and someone who’s gifted, had a horrible first video. She obviously hadn’t previewed it. The group was making nice. I told her: “How do think the client feels?” Her eyes were on the clipboard, never looking up.
I’d get a little flak at first, but then the group dropped into deeper truth. The others admitted to doing the same. The intern, who was crying and needed comforting, could see it too. I guarantee she hasn’t forgotten.
My favorite approach was pioneered by an intern with an acute sense of vulnerability and shame. She videoed almost all of her intakes and sessions in order to desensitize. Good behavioral therapy. She also screened before showing her videos. It’s what I would have done.
Most of the interns hadn’t watched before they showed. From my point of view, it took a lot of courage. And when they tried to guilt me into filming myself, I wouldn’t take the bait. My rationalized defense: You’re watching how I do therapy right here and now. Any feedback?
Chyako happened to ask about discipline and I’ve done a similar thing with Sansaku that I learned from video review. No matter how I feel, I push publish. Still sensitive. It’s why I do some serious screening first.
Sparky the dog was a noble soul. Whether watched or not, she gave her best performance every time. A master at catching frisbees.
bestslowly 
Friend, from the past, you are.
Though, you’ve never been all that far from my thoughts. I commented on a post about a month ago, and it seems that it didn’t occur!
I am one of your previous dreamers/students from Fort Lewis. I am, of course, still a dreamer. In fact, an even more active and vivid dreamer than ever before. I spent an hour this morning writing about the dream I had last night.
Hi Colin ✌🏼 Alyssa here. I said hey to Chyako a few months back because I was working at the smiley building for a while. I was part of a group of gals that were in your dream groups at FLC for several years, 93-97. And, I consider you and Chyako friends beyond that. I worked in the theatre department for a while too.
anyway, my desire is to connect with you. I have never lessened in my deep appreciation, reverence, for the dreamscape. And for you, Colin. You are a pivotal person in my dream journey.
I am going to attend a “spirituality and dream conference” at the Haden Institute in North Carolina next month. I can’t wait. I wonder what will come through in this exploration. I’ve been waiting for way too long to begin a real relationship with the outer world and my dream world. Let’s see what happens when they hook up!
my dreams have remained a steady source of information for me over the years. I have learned how to be present (almost lucid) in most of my dreams. This is after years of sleep paralysis, and fear associated with that. I have grown to be able to recognize when I am in sleep paralysis. I still struggle to come back, and I know that I am within the struggle. While there is still some fear and uncertainty associated, I have developed some kind of trust in the process that I need to see it through and that I will be okay even when I’m in the struggle that is paralytic.
I have become someone who is actively participating in my dreams, as a “director.” This happens frequently. I spent an hour this morning writing about my dream last night. I was actively watching as the dream unfolded, in great detail, that I can describe.
anyway, I hope this message doesn’t disappear. And I hope to connect with you Colin. With only love.
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Not sure how this works. I’ve never done it. Your message ended up in my trash folder. Sorry about that. I think we can find a time to walk and talk. I’m headed to Utah this week and have a busy week after that. Here’s my number: 970-844-4342 I’m thinking Graves is your last name. Love, C
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oh no. It seems that no one wants to convey my little message.
in any case, I feel so much love for you Colin. Always will. Deep respect, especially as I carry on into a dream conference.
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