Almost Coming

Sansaku: Almost Coming

4/22/24

I asked set questions at the interview for internship.   For example: How do you deal with critical feedback?  Toward the end I’d tell them: You’re going to work hard for no pay.  What’s wrong with you?

I copied their answers verbatim and said: “I’ll pull these notes in a year and bring them into session.  Any predictions?”  I’ve been asking myself the same question: How will you deal?  A blood draw in two weeks, one never knows, and I leave tomorrow for a rendezvous in Utah.

Interns learned they didn’t need to solve the client’s problem.  The goal of therapy: To work together and learn from the problem.  When we get to where we need to be, problems aren’t solved, they transmute.

A transparent dream last night.  At a conference and looking for the lodging.  I ask an employee to open the door, then go and get my bag.  In the interval, beds were claimed.  I unclaimed one.  Ready to defend.

A similar dream on this day last year.  I had a small load of clothes to wash, but a dude with five huge bags beat me to the machine.  He hadn’t started and wouldn’t budge.  But I didn’t fight.  I let it go.

I’m slightly anxious about the Airbnb where we’ll be staying in Blanding.  Practicing self-soothing.  No need to arrive early or claim a bed.  I predict I’m going to be fine.  Down the river, I’ll be reading this to see.

I’m listening to Girl with a Dragon Tattoo and Lisbeth got into my dreams.  We were fighting for a cause.  In the book, when Mikael learns she’s hacked his life, he chooses to pair up with her.  It was like that.

I just missed a sneeze.  Almost coming, almost coming, then not.  I put this in a song and found myself laughing.  On holiday from treatment, testosterone is beginning to return.  I can feel it.  Almost coming.